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Sirloin or Siri

I know I said my next post would be a travel post, but I have to talk about the ridiculous dream I had last night.

Today is election day, the first since I’ve lived at my current address. So of course I dreamed about trying to find my polling location.

I went to this huge school gym and asked the poll worker there if I was in the right place. He said that he couldn’t tell me; I had to figure it out on my own.

I asked how.

He said he would show me.

This he did by setting a sirloin steak (well done) on the table. He then made a slice with a butter knife from edge to edge, in the center, along the shorter line. It wasn’t even a slice, really, since he was using a butter knife. It was more of a mark.

He made two more cuts, all about an inch apart.

Then he got out a compass and protractor, and measured the length of the lines and the gaps between them, as well as the perimeter of the steak.

Then he pulled out two more steaks, because you have to have an n of three to be truly accurate.

I was supposed to go home and do this myself. Then, with the resulting measurements, I could consult a chart and determine my polling location.

So of course I told him that that was really stupid and wasn’t there a better way? A list that he could just look up?

He said of course it was stupid, and that’s why the voting system in this country is so messed up.

…I blame this dream on the dental work I had done yesterday, which involved cauterizing my gums with a laser so that my mouth tasted like the gross charred bits on a steak. I have no better explanation.

Anyway, it turns out that you really can just look up your polling location online. I was half expecting them to turn me away this morning, but the list was accurate and I was in the right place.

No steaks required.

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